Sacrifices and Compromises

About a week ago, I thought about writing a blog entry on Sacrifices and Compromises. I have been giving some thoughts in this topic when I am changing Bethany's diapers, pumping in the wee hours when everyone was sound asleep in the house, and holding Bethany, rocking her to sleep when she is crying her lungs out. That's why it took so long for me to finally have a chance to sit in front of my netbook, typing out this blog entry.

In any successful and sustainable relationship, sacrifices and compromises are the two fundamental building blocks. In the world of parenting, it is no exception. Bethany is a month and 6 days old today, and I must honestly admit that the arrival of this little precious one brings lots of joy in our house and at the same time, also changes our "adult" world. I have noticed that I am spending lesser and lesser time on the computer, whether I am simply browsing the internet or updating my blog. Often times, I find that I am replying to e-mails or writing a new blog entry during the wee hours of the day. One thing though, I have been googling more on baby's topics (for example, diaper rash, cloth diapering, breastfeeding etc). Watching TV is also a luxury for me these days. For the last month or so, I have never sat down for longer than half an hour and enjoy a re-run of Jon and Kate Plus 8 (One of my favourite shows). The only time I can watch TV is when I am pumping, and I am watching TV (and I can't even remember what I watched) to kill time. I love to read... magazines, fiction or non-fiction, I read them all. I bought a copy of The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs last week, and so far, I have not even got past the introduction of the book. Sleeping is an extreme luxury for me these days.

Joe asked me the other day what I want for christmas... as crazy as it might sound, all I want is an un-disturbed 4 hours of sleep (not broken down into three segments throughout the night) and move to Vancouver where Bethany can be closer to her Gong Gong and Pao Pao. I have been a pretty good girl this year, so perhaps Santa will be nice to me this year and I get what I want for christmas.

With mom leaving next Saturday, Joe and I have been talking about how to divide up the household chores and taking care of Bethany. Joe is taking a week off, and I want him to shadow me 24/7 and he will then truly appreciate how I have been living my life in the past month. Joe is very active with the Scouts (he is the area commissioner) and Knights of Columbus (he is the Recorder). Generally I do not mind him getting involved with these two groups at the same time. However, with Bethany so young and that Joe needs to attend quite a few meetings a month, I simply can't allow him to be out of the house so many nights while I am home alone not only during the days when he is at work, and also home alone during the nights that he has to attend those meeting. As a result, after a considerable amount of thinking, I have asked Joe to quit his involvement with either group so that he can stay home, take care of Bethany, bond with Bethany and relieve part of my stress during the night. I know both groups are important to Joe, but as a parent, he also needs to understand that sacrifices and compromises are invloved when there is a baby in the house. To my surprise, Joe has agreed to quit Knights of Columbus for now, and if things are still hectic in the house, he will also consider quitting Scouts. I know Joe does not want to give up his involvement with either group, but as a parent, he also understands his role as a father and all the responsibilities that come with it.