Forgive and Forget

About 1 1/2 years ago, I wrote a blog entry on Forgive and Forget. A few days ago, in between pumping and feeding, I had an hour to kill, so I started changing the layout of the blog and cleaning up a bit on old photo albums. I also re-visited this old blog entry.

I wrote this entry a few months prior to my wedding. At that time, I was deeply bothered by a soon-to-be family-member's actions. Her comments and verbal attacks had left a very bad taste in my mouth. In an effort to have closure so that I could move on with a life that Joe and I were about to begin, I wrote this entry to reflect. 18 months later, I was brave enough to revisit my still-bleeding wound, and attempted to find out if I am any different than I was then.

Sadly, my feeling for this "then-soon-to-be" family member and now "I-want-nothing-to-do-with-you"family member is still the same. Anger, hatred, disappointment and resentment are still the three words I have in my dictionary to describe this person. To this date, I have no intention to forget her childish and idiotic actions, let alone forgive all the hurtful and manipulative comments she had made.

A lot of people told me that pregnancy often has a softening effect on preggos. Although I had softened a bit during my pregnancy, the softening is not powerful enough to make me forgive and forget all the hurtful things she had said about me before Joe and I got married, after Joe and I got married, and when I was pregnant. Although she has done little things to try to mend what was broken, the extent of damage is so astronomical that at this point, I simply do not have the heart big enough to forgive and forget.

In about 18 months, I am going to re-visit my old blog entry and my emotional wound, and perhaps by that time I will be able to forgive and forget.

Until then...